Happy moment: Belinda, Laurie and their eldest son Charlie meet baby Henry. Picture: Supplied Source: Supplied 
He could dial the numbers but it took him a long time to press call. Picture: Supplied Source: Supplied A SOBBING dad of two little boys told his wife a helpline hung up on him two days before he killed himself.
Victorian policeman Laurie Fox, 32, spent more than an hour working up the courage to call the national counselling service MensLine on Saturday, December 29 last year.
The distressed father told his wife, Belinda Sowter, that he "poured his heart out" to a counsellor for 27 minutes.
Mr Fox said the operator hung up on him after he was told calls had a 30-minute limit and while he could call back anytime he would have to "make it brief".
"He said to me afterwards 'This is why I can't talk to anyone, because no one has the time to listen to me.' That quote just rings in my head all the time," Ms Sowter, a former media buyer, told news.com.au this week. "I was just so angry at them."
She does not blame the incident for Mr Fox's tragic decision to take his own life, but said it was a "setback" to her attempts to get him to seek help.
MensLine recorded the conversation between Mr Fox and the counsellor and said "the content of the call is not at all consistent" with Mr Fox's account to his wife.
Laurie and Belinda's eldest son Charlie wore his father's police cap at his father's funeral. Picture: Supplied Source: Supplied MensLine will not allow news.com.au or Mrs Sowter to listen to the taped conversation, citing privacy laws.
"We can confirm the counsellor did not terminate the phone call, nor did the counsellor give any time limit, at any stage of the call," a spokeswoman said in a statement.
"Our clinical director is 'confident the counsellor acted professionally and appropriately in supporting Mr Fox and handling the concerns he presented during the call' ".
Mr Fox killed himself on New Year's Eve last year. Ms Sowter and sons Charlie, 5, and Henry, 4, were away in Brisbane with the extended family for Christmas.
Mr Fox stayed in Victoria for work. The couple had planned to visit a psychologist when Ms Sowter returned home.
Ms Sowter said the incident should not in any way prevent troubled people from seeking help.
"I would be encouraging more (people to make calls). I don't want what happened to Laurie to discourage them to call. I think it was just a tragic circumstance."
MensLine "suggests a 40 minute timeframe to be most effective for regular calls" and said more than 10 per cent of calls lasted more than 40 minutes.
"Counsellors must stay on the phone with any caller who shows any sign of risk for as long as it takes to get to a safe place," a spokeswoman said. "If that means staying on the phone all night, that's what we'll do."
Loving couple: This picture was taken on Belinda's birthday last year. Picture: Supplied Source: Supplied As her husband's legacy, Ms Sowter has pledged to launch an effort to help police families affected by suicide and to stop tragedies such as Laurie's.
Four Victorian police committed suicide in the past 12 months. She wants to erase the stigma in the emergency services surrounding mental health treatment.
"There's this whole stigma attached to police in general with mental illness. They have all the services available to them but no one accesses them."
Ms Sowter, who is raising a young family, told her eldest son Charlie his father left each member of the family a part of him before he died.
"I said to him before Daddy died he actually got his heart and gave you some of his heart, he gave your brother some of his heart and he gave me some of his heart.
"I said: 'so wherever we go, Daddy's actually with us.' And he's really clung onto that."
MensLine, which is dedicated to assisting men with their problems, extended its condolences to Mr Fox's family.
"We were very distressed to hear this tragic news. We know that the loss of a loved one to suicide can have a devastating impact on family and friends."
If you are at risk, contact BeyondBlue on 1300 22 4636, Lifeline on 13 11 14.
Anyone affected by suicide can contact the national Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) and SuicideLine (1300 651 251). Counsellors are specially trained to support bereaved people.
Do you know more? Daniel.Piotrowski@news.com.au. This reporter on Twitter: @drpiotrowski @newscomauHQ
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